


Cold Blows The Wind

by InSearchOfSpace



Series: Works Inspired By Songs [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Apparition, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Grieving, Mourning, Sadstuck(?), Songfic. Kind of., True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 14:45:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InSearchOfSpace/pseuds/InSearchOfSpace
Summary: Cold blows the wind over my true love, cold blows the drops of rain.I never had but one true love, and by the Empire he was slain.I'd do as much for my true love, as any young girl may.I'll sit and weep down by his grave, for twelve month and one day.





	Cold Blows The Wind

**Author's Note:**

> The Unquiet Grave is an English folk song suspected to date back to the 1400's. Ween made a version titled 'Cold Blows The Wind' in 1997, which is what inspired me to write this. Also: Over the top old time-y talking.

The rain beat down relentlessly on Meulin as she pulled an animal pelt she'd been using as a cloak further around herself, shielding herself from the biting wind as she slowly weaved in and out of the trees. Pink leaves crunched under foot as she wandered without aim, and no longer with purpose. Best as she could tell, it had been little over a sweep since she lost her love, and the loss still cut her just as deep as it did the day he died.

 

Meulin liked to think she was strong. As a matter of fact, she _knew_ she was strong, but to have a love so pure cut down so soon, and so unceremoniously, was killing her. Every moment apart from him was spent devoted to his memory - Be it remembering the love they shared, or writing out his teachings on the walls of different caves in beast's blood, he was always on her mind, and she knew that if the roles had been reversed and Kankri had outlived her, the same would be true for him. She loved him with every fibre of her being, as did he.

 

She'd never felt so weak before. She'd been transient, walking for so long that she'd become almost numb to her aching feet, and her hair was a tangled and matted mess, like it was before she found a new purpose with the Signless-- The _Sufferer's_ movement. Kankri was her compass, providing her with direction, and a love that she knew she would never get to experience again. She was his rock, providing him with support in moments of doubt. When things got rough, both were there for each other. Now? She felt like a boat with one oar.

 

She'd forgotten what it was like to be this alone. She felt a broken woman.

 

Meulin didn't even have a grave to visit. No memorial to mourn over. Though she was already known to the Empire as a deviant, escaping her execution had essentially painted a target on her head. Nowhere that she knew of could she show her face if she were to continue carrying Kankri's legacy with herself, which meant even if the Empire _did_ bury Kankri, she wouldn't be able to visit his resting place. She knew they wouldn't have though. If they hadn't made some sick example of his body, he would have been tossed, discarded onto a pile of other dead dissidents. It was a thought she didn't like to dwell on. 

 

Part of her wanted to take vengeance, but she knew _full_ well that Kankri wouldn't have wanted that for her. It was not, and never would be his way. Another part of her wish she died alongside him, but there was a much stronger drive in her to carry on with his memory. A raging fire within her that Kankri had ignited.

 

After wandering into a clearing deep in her own thoughts, she was completely exposed to the elements - rain pouring down on her almost in a constant stream as the wind howled in her face, almost causing her to stumble, and blowing her backwards. It was almost unnatural. While fighting to keep her balance, something must have just clicked in her thinkpan, and she just fell down to her knees, falling forwards, sobbing into the rain-soaked grass. A lump formed in her throat as her hands clawed at the ground in confused, defeated anger. What was the point of fighting if there was no longer anything to fight for? Her fist beat down on the ground, mud splashing with each pound. This may have been the lowest point of her entire life.

 

"My love, I haven't a clue how you expect me to take my rest while you're here wallowing in such a state."

 

Mud squelched as she picked the upper half of her body up with her palms flat against the ground, her arms shaking and trembling at the elbows. Her olive green eyes watering, and the majority of her body covered in dirt and mud. Most of, but not all, came from collapsing a moment ago. "Kankri?" She asked, looking up at him in disbelief. There he stood. He looked exactly how she remembered him - Every detail having stuck in Meulin's mind. In spite of the harsh winds, his cloak remained static.

 

He looked down at her, his hood casting a shadow over the top half of his face, though it did nothing to hide the otherworldly glow of his ruby red eyes. With a warm, welcoming smile, Kankri bent his knee, putting a hand on her cheek. Meulin wanted to shut her eyes tight in relief, but for fear of him no longer being there when they opened back up, she kept her eyes focused on him, leaning into his touch as she placed a cold, wet hand over his own. "How--..? How can this be?" She asked, Kankri sitting down on the ground beside her, gently wrapping his long grey cloak around her, leaving only Meulin's head exposed as she clung to his body. She felt a sudden warmth upon being wrapped in the fabric, similar to sitting beside a gently crackling campfire, or transitioning to indoors, coming in from the nipping air outside.

 

" _Surely_ you must know this isn't real, dear. As much as I wish to be held fast within your arms once again, you know it cannot be."  Kankri said, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head as she burrowed her face in the crook of his neck. The wind and the rain were no longer existent; they ceased to even be a tangible thing when Kankri offered her his ethereal presence. 

 

"Then when your time comes to leave me again, you will take me with you, won't you?" She asked, looking up at him, tangled hair somewhat hanging in her face as she gazed at him with wide eyes and salty cheeks. "Please say you will, my love. I can't stand to see you depart again..."

 

Kankri looked down at her, almost offended at her comment as Meulin returned his comforting touch with a vice-like grip. "Perish the thought! I am long since departed, my love. I'm as dead as can be, I fear."

 

"And I, incomplete!" Meulin called back, shouting so there was no possibility of her being drowned out by the raindrops around them.

 

He gave her an uncomfortable look, his hand reassuringly rubbing her shoulder as he continued to lean into her, looking up at the dull, dark grey sky, before settling his eyes back down on Meulin. "If I were to take you with me, Meulin, what would become of our love? My body lays cold, and my heart, while forever yours, decays with each passing day." Meulin's lip trembled as she looked up at him. "Our love lives on in you, Meulin. Every mere step you take, every word you speak, and every breath you draw, all of these are greater testaments to what we share than any song could ever express, any script could ever convey, or any portrait could ever show."

 

Meulin still looked confused, but she managed to fight back a few tears as she sniffled, pushing down Kankri's hood to look at his face again.  She leaned up, pressing her forehead against his as she looked into his eyes, their lips meeting for a kiss that Meulin had cut short by pulling back. There was no warmth in the kiss. No passion. It wasn't on her part, or Kankri's - It just felt like something was missing, like she was kissing an inanimate object. "Kankri, I don't understand." Meulin said, looking down a she laid her head against his chest, breathing shakily. "I've been awaiting this moment for as long as you've been gone. Your embrace is warm but your kiss is not of your own... It's hollow." She said as Kankri took her hand, clutching it.

 

"You're not kissing me, my love." He said, offering a melancholy expression - That of somebody who was trying not to express sadness. His face didn't show it, but you could see it in his eyes.

 

"How can that be? I can feel your arms around me, shielding me from the fear. From the uncertainty." She said, reaching up to sweep her hair from her face, accidentally grazing her forehead with her long, claw-like nails. 

 

"I sit before you, true. ...But it's not me. More an echo of what I was, repeating what I told you in life, to ensure you never forget. I no longer exist on this plane, Meulin. The Signless, the Sufferer, only exists within memory. But _Kankri_ , lives on through his Disciple."  He said, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. 

 

"Will you tell me again," Meulin said, looking up at him with a hopeful expression. "what it was you told me?"

 

"I love you."

 

"I... I love you too."

 

Their hands met as Meulin sat up, their fingers becoming intertwined. 

 

"Promise me, Meulin. Promise you'll carry on with conviction, and with the powerful resolve I knew you to have in life. A world without your light is a world I could never be so brave as to face." Kankri said, his eyes fluttering closed as he put his forehead to hers, opening his eyes to gaze into hers once again. 

 

Meulin nodded, on the verge of tears once again as she squeezed his hands as tight as she could. "I'll try, my love. But the heartache your death and our separation has wrought is a burden I don't think I could ever be strong enough to bare..."

 

"I understand. I'd sooner ask you to squeeze water from a stone than I would ask you to no longer feel such a pain. I know that had you outlived me, the pain would have been something far too great for me to ever even hope to overcome. You're strong though, Meulin. Know this." He said, letting go as he placed his hands on her shoulders, gently laying her back on the grass. Kankri just sat over her smiling down at her as he put his hood back up. Meulin looked up at him, tears running down her face once again, as tears ran down Kankri's too. 

 

"Even though you may not see me, I'll be by your side. Every beat of your heart gives me life, and each breath for as long as you live keeps us from ever being apart." He said, leaning over her to press a kiss to her lips. 

"I love you, Meulin." The Sufferer said, slowly beginning to fade out. All it took was one blink from Meulin for him to have vanished completely, though his warmth was still felt. Her eyes fell shut, and she felt breathless. "I love you too, Kankri..." Meulin said, stomach fluttering. 

 

When her eyes opened once again, there was no more rain, and no more clouds. The sky was beginning to be lit up by the sun, and it seemed the heavy rain through the night had washed off most of the mud. She rose to her feet, looking around the clearing with a courage that she thought she'd never see again, beginning to walk once more, striding purposefully over the grass.

 

Meulin wasn't sure if it _was_ a dream, or if Kankri really did come to visit her.

 

She didn't want to know.


End file.
